.....That toothless crack whore you had sex with last night walks up to your craps table and in front of everyone says: "Thank you for a wonderful evening, I just wanted to return your wallet"
.....Your at work. You have a touch of the flu. You go on break and get sick and throw up in the bathroom, only seconds later realizing you just lost your upper partial on that 'royal flush!'
.....You come to work and realize that your pit boss knows you've been sleeping with his wife!
.....You're dealing to the Bloods/Crips convention delegates
.....You're scheduled to deal casino WAR and all the other craps dealers must walk by your game on the way to the break room!
YOU KNOW IT'S GOING
TO BE A LONG DAY WHEN:
......The Blackjack Pitboss comes mincing over to the Craps table and says to the Boxman "When this game goes dead can you send me one of your boys"
.....I walk up to the game and realize I don't speak ebonics.
.....The players you said goodnight to at 2am are the same when you come to work the next day at 6pm .
.....Your first customer of the day buys in for $200 - $100 in red & $100 in white - he plays $5 on the "do" & $5 on the "don't" and bets $1 on the 12 ------------ just kill me now !!!!!!
.....The shift manager asks to see you after work.
YOU KNOW IT'S GOING
TO BE A LONG DAY WHEN:
.....The lump sitting box asks you if you shaved today.
.....Every player on the game is over 65, wearing a baseball cap, windbreaker jacket and bets a dollar any crap every come out roll.
....Your fellow dealers are commonly referred to as "Toke Sponge, "I-haven't-booked-a-bet-since-dice-school-Bob", and that lumpy kid fresh out of dice school that doesn't know their multiplication tables past the 2's and is convinced the stick is made of hand-blown glass.
.....Your boxperson is a Blackjack Dealer (Dual rate) and everyone on your crew refuses to start on the stick and as you call the first roll, (12 Craps), you look up and see Doc Prop with his 17 different prop bets and he says "Keep all of my bets up son!"
.....You're the only brother in the dice pit dealing a $5 game during the National Finals Rodeo!..........Yeee Haaaa!!!
YOU KNOW IT'S GOING
TO BE A LONG DAY WHEN:
.....A CUSTOMER THROWS $5 CHIPS ONE AT A TIME AND SAYS "GIVE ME A SIX......A FIVE .....AND AN EIGHT ......AND A NINE
......THEN CAN I HAVE A FOUR AND OH WELL YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE ME A TEN TOO"!
.....When you have a table full of $3 strokers and break in dealers on each base.
.....When your x-wife gets hired as a supervisor. (You know, that BITCH that YOU taught how to deal!)
.....An 85 year old lady with a hearing aid buys in for five one dollar bills, holds up the five dollar chip and say 'how do you play this game'?
..... You notice fifteen busses outside your casino that read "Rodeo or Bust craps junket!"
YOU KNOW IT'S GOING
TO BE A LONG DAY WHEN:
.....A drunk next to stick rolls an easy six, and asks the stick chick ......"am I soft or hard."
....You're on a luxury cruise liner in the Caribbean. Its your break at 10 to 12 on New Years Eve and the Boxman tells the crew - "If you lot have any more to drink - I'm going to sack the lot of you".
.....The first roll of the dice is an ACE-DEUCE and you try to pay the High-Low-Yo bet!!
.....You eat that Mexican food they served today in the cafeteria and you feel a little heat running down your leg while you're on the stick!
.....You tap in on stick and look at the prop box and see: $45 hi low yo, $65 horn high 12, $35 ace duce and $65 world bet. The 12 rolls and the biggest lump (now a box man because the pit manager can't watch the guy hack up the game another minute) wants to show everyone how smart he is by figuring out the answer out loud so the stick man can't think much less come up with an answer
YOU KNOW IT'S GOING
TO BE A LONG DAY WHEN:
..........................When I SHOW UP!
.....You are tapped off the game and the person standing floor on your game lectures you on the finer points of dealing and you think to yourself "I have been dealing longer than you have been alive".
.....The box declares it's ...'that time of month' and she has no supplies with her, 2nd base relates how that happened to her, the Floor interrupts to offer her home made cookies, 3rd base excuses herself because of the morning sickness, and some old stiff approaches the game and declares "You guys look bored, do you mind if I shoot!".................Coming Out!
.....You are getting ready to sign in and you hear the box talking about his hemorrhoid flare up.
.....You arrive to work five minutes late because all the rubber-neckers on the freeway, walk into the pit and the pit-boss says; thanks for coming in, where is your name-tag. As you look at your crew (already on a jam-up game) the stick-man, an Asian-American who barely speaks ENGLISH , 2nd base ,A SLOW moving dinosaur, And on 3rd, a Girl who can't pay a FOUR dollar horn.
YOU KNOW IT'S GOING
TO BE A LONG DAY WHEN:
.....The crew has not made a dime, an hour long roll has just ended, and everyone starts TIPPING the SHOOTER!!!!
.....You just show up for work, a lady throws the dice and they land against the wall on the other end and this apparently deaf player wearing a pair of coke bottle thick glasses who bends over toward the dice squints his eyes - picks them up and throws them across back to the original side of the table .........AND YOU ACTUALLY CALL IT !
.....You know it's going to be a long day when you get on the game and the new box person asks : "Aren't you supposed to be on first base?"
.....A Blackjack Pit Boss is put in the Dice Pit and starts chanting along with the rednecks "Baby needs a new pair of shoes!"
Your turn....
