If you consistently bet a $3 three way and a $2 yo and yell at the stick for putting your nickel on a horn high yo..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you are told NOT to splash your bets into my prop bet box when next to stick and keep doing so despite repeated gentle reminders of where to set them down..........you might be a Jackoff.
AND if you are the boxperson watching me "teach" this customer and don't intervene when it continues..........you might be a Jackoff.
When the boxman asks the players what the last roll was during a dispute........he might be a Jackoff.
When you volunteer to sit box when the dealers are making $80,000 a year.........you might be a Jackoff - Strike that, you are a jackoff
When you schedule the best craps dealer to snap cards on a Sat night.........you might be a Jackoff.
When you're sitting box and you consistently try to figure out what the props pay OUT LOUD and 90% of the time YOU ARE WRONG.........you might be a Jackoff.
You ask a customer if HE would like to learn how to play while on a dead game.........you might be a Jackoff.
You don't ask a good looking gal if SHE would like to learn how to play craps while on a dead game.........you might be a Jack off.
When you are the only one on the craps crew that doesn't want the EO and the crew ends up staying till the end of shift.........you might be a Jackoff.
When you think that sitting box is an important job.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you call a casino host to come over to the pizza parlor so he can comp you a slice.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for change for a nickel and then throw $12 into the dealer and ask for $6 each 6 and 8.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for change for a nickel and then throw $4 for a horn bet or all the hardways.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you make more than 3 late bets .........you might be a Jackoff.
If you play the don't come from next to the stickman.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you throw your money toward each number for place bets.........you might be a Jackoff.
If, after 2 hours, you can't figure out that you can take $50 odds on the 6 with a $10 pass line bet.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you make more than 2 different prop bets at a time.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you press your bets one unit at a time FOREVER..........you might be a Jack off.
If you throw the dice, knock over my stacks and laugh you just might be a jackoff!!!
If you think its funny that the shooter has knocked over my stacks .........you might be a Jackoff.
If every time you win a prop bet you add another bet to the mix.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you don't shortstick the Bride on her wedding night.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you look for a dead game to start.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you call winner seven real loud just to get people to come and play at your table, you just might be a jackoff!!!
If you throw all your bets at each number just because you want the dealer to get it right..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you shill a game so the new kid can get practice..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you make place bets while you shill..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you think shilling is fun..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you power press you place bets and tell the dealer not to get the green out..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you play 5-6-8, field, any seven..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you tip the shooter but not the dealer..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask a dealer, "how's you back," after a 40 min role!.........you might be a Jackoff.
If it takes more than 2 explanations to understand the field bet..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for $5 each 6 & 8 then bet $6 each corner 6&8, you just might be a jackoff!!!
If you call same dice after you've thrown the dice off the table for the 2nd time in a row...........you might be a Jackoff.
If you bet the hard ways $4 each out of $20..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you bet a $36 5 or 9..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you try to buy any number but the 4 or 10..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you shoot the dice while looking away..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you try to teach the player next to you how to play when the dealer is already helping them..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you proposition other players to bet for you or the shooter..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you call for the same dice when you are not shooting..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for change to tip the cocktail server when you've been stiff all night to the dealers..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you put all your $1 cheques in the field and say you are trying to get rid of them, you just might be a jackoff!!!
....if you bet $24 each 6 and 8 and never press (see above)..........you might be a Jackoff.
When you are the only one on the craps crew that doesn't want the EO and the crew ends up staying till the end of shift.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you you buy-in on a dead craps game with a $20 bill and attempt to explain the game to your girl telling her that those seven numbers in the field is a good wager because you can only lose on the remaining four.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you buy in on a craps table for $8.00 and hand your card in , and ask for two buffets, on a $10 game.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you walk up to the craps game wearing the same shirt and jeans, with dirty slick back hair and knowing that, WE know you have slept in your car (for a week), then buy in for $20.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you get excited on someone else's bet, hoping they will give you a nickel or two, so when the dice come round to your spot, you can shoot.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you're on a busy hot craps game, telling everyone how you rolled for two hours, back in 19~o Blob, then pull out $20 in dollar bills, holding the game up while you bet the hardways for a buck each, then seven out, with bets for the dealers everywhere........you might be a Jackoff.
If you lean over the rail holding your entire cash bankroll in your hand consisting of mostly singles, and making late bets every roll in a place that doesn't allow call bets........you might be a Jackoff.
If the dice hit your hand cause you absolutely couldn't wait to pick up your dollar change off the layout.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you actually think for one moment that setting the dice before you shoot will make any kind of a fucking difference at all.........you might be a Jack off. (strike that, you are a Jackoff!)
If you are told NOT to splash your bets into my prop bet box when next to stick and keep doing so despite repeated gentle reminders of where to set them down..........you might be a Jackoff.
AND if you are the boxperson watching me "teach" this customer and don't intervene when it continues..........you might be a Jackoff.
When the boxman asks the players what the last roll was during a dispute........he might be a Jackoff.
When you volunteer to sit box when the dealers are making $80,000 a year.........you might be a Jackoff - Strike that, you are a jackoff
When you schedule the best craps dealer to snap cards on a Sat night.........you might be a Jackoff.
When you're sitting box and you consistently try to figure out what the props pay OUT LOUD and 90% of the time YOU ARE WRONG.........you might be a Jackoff.
You ask a customer if HE would like to learn how to play while on a dead game.........you might be a Jackoff.
You don't ask a good looking gal if SHE would like to learn how to play craps while on a dead game.........you might be a Jack off.
When you are the only one on the craps crew that doesn't want the EO and the crew ends up staying till the end of shift.........you might be a Jackoff.
When you think that sitting box is an important job.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you call a casino host to come over to the pizza parlor so he can comp you a slice.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for change for a nickel and then throw $12 into the dealer and ask for $6 each 6 and 8.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for change for a nickel and then throw $4 for a horn bet or all the hardways.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you make more than 3 late bets .........you might be a Jackoff.
If you play the don't come from next to the stickman.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you throw your money toward each number for place bets.........you might be a Jackoff.
If, after 2 hours, you can't figure out that you can take $50 odds on the 6 with a $10 pass line bet.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you make more than 2 different prop bets at a time.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you press your bets one unit at a time FOREVER..........you might be a Jack off.
If you throw the dice, knock over my stacks and laugh you just might be a jackoff!!!
If you think its funny that the shooter has knocked over my stacks .........you might be a Jackoff.
If every time you win a prop bet you add another bet to the mix.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you don't shortstick the Bride on her wedding night.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you look for a dead game to start.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you call winner seven real loud just to get people to come and play at your table, you just might be a jackoff!!!
If you throw all your bets at each number just because you want the dealer to get it right..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you shill a game so the new kid can get practice..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you make place bets while you shill..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you think shilling is fun..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you power press you place bets and tell the dealer not to get the green out..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you play 5-6-8, field, any seven..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you tip the shooter but not the dealer..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask a dealer, "how's you back," after a 40 min role!.........you might be a Jackoff.
If it takes more than 2 explanations to understand the field bet..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for $5 each 6 & 8 then bet $6 each corner 6&8, you just might be a jackoff!!!
If you call same dice after you've thrown the dice off the table for the 2nd time in a row...........you might be a Jackoff.
If you bet the hard ways $4 each out of $20..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you bet a $36 5 or 9..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you try to buy any number but the 4 or 10..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you shoot the dice while looking away..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you try to teach the player next to you how to play when the dealer is already helping them..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you proposition other players to bet for you or the shooter..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you call for the same dice when you are not shooting..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you ask for change to tip the cocktail server when you've been stiff all night to the dealers..........you might be a Jackoff.
If you put all your $1 cheques in the field and say you are trying to get rid of them, you just might be a jackoff!!!
....if you bet $24 each 6 and 8 and never press (see above)..........you might be a Jackoff.
When you are the only one on the craps crew that doesn't want the EO and the crew ends up staying till the end of shift.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you you buy-in on a dead craps game with a $20 bill and attempt to explain the game to your girl telling her that those seven numbers in the field is a good wager because you can only lose on the remaining four.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you buy in on a craps table for $8.00 and hand your card in , and ask for two buffets, on a $10 game.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you walk up to the craps game wearing the same shirt and jeans, with dirty slick back hair and knowing that, WE know you have slept in your car (for a week), then buy in for $20.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you get excited on someone else's bet, hoping they will give you a nickel or two, so when the dice come round to your spot, you can shoot.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you're on a busy hot craps game, telling everyone how you rolled for two hours, back in 19~o Blob, then pull out $20 in dollar bills, holding the game up while you bet the hardways for a buck each, then seven out, with bets for the dealers everywhere........you might be a Jackoff.
If you lean over the rail holding your entire cash bankroll in your hand consisting of mostly singles, and making late bets every roll in a place that doesn't allow call bets........you might be a Jackoff.
If the dice hit your hand cause you absolutely couldn't wait to pick up your dollar change off the layout.........you might be a Jackoff.
If you actually think for one moment that setting the dice before you shoot will make any kind of a fucking difference at all.........you might be a Jack off. (strike that, you are a Jackoff!)
