YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
....you know your a burnt out floor when
the only dealers names you know are
lump, lumpasaurus, lumpy and clydsdale
...you start looking forward to a delicious meal in the EDR.
...you'd rather take the EO and go home and play internet poker
than to deal to the store bought boobs....no bra... on spot 4
...you want to kill the mother fucker who keeps asking questions
at the end of the mandatory meeting
....the "Whirl" vs. "World" debate always ends in violence.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you haven't used your "inside hand" in 10 years (except to hold yourself in an upright position)
...you end up in jail for beating the shit out of some new guy cause you called him a rookie and he replies back with, "I'm a better and more experienced dealer than you. I know Blackjack, Caribbean Stud, Let-It-Ride, Three Card Poker, War, Chuck-A-Luck, Sic-Bo, and the Big 6 wheel. What do you know? Blackjack and Craps? That's only 2 games and you've been dealing for 15 years, I've only been dealing 4 months, do the math, who's the rookie now bitch?
...you put your bartenders name to notify in case of an emergency
...your kid asks you what 3+6 is and you say
"Ill give you 10, drop me a dollar.".
...your dog sleeps on one of your uniforms
and the other two can be found in your glove box
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you call out checks play on a dead game
because it's funny to watch your floor person panic
...you are dealing to purple action and the most beautiful cocktail waitress in Las Vegas sweetly asks you to make change for a player on your game in the middle of a hand. You then proceed to break a purple chip down all the way to silver...hoping the bitch only gets a buck, because she never speaks to you any other time
.....the new guy tells you what a great dealer you are and your incredulous response is; “How the **** would you know?”
...you sign up for poker class hoping to deal to a higher class degenerate
...an early push gives you a better feeling than sex.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you and your kid are playing monopoly and he rolls a 7.
You yell out "7 out" and implode his hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place,
dump the board, and declare yourself the winner.
...half of the joints in your resume have been imploded.
...you stop complaining about dealing Let It Ride once a month.
...the Asian player at your table says "Gimmie Monkey, Gimmie Monkey" for 5 hours straight and you finally reply back with "What monkey?!! there are no cards in this entire shoe that even come close to looking like a fucking monkey!!!!"
...during a fight with the wife, the only comeback you have is "No Bet"
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...while selling two bags of weed you weigh the first one up
and simply "size in" for the next bag...
...you know you're burned out working the floor and think to yourself about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now rather than watching these lumps
...the guy at the table is betting a $100.00 for you every hand
......and you still want him to lose.
...when you go to the bathroom on your break and don't wash your hands just to get even with the players
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...when you get to work an hour early everyday to sign the E.O. list but when you get the early push out, you go ahead and take your last break so you don't get shorted that 20 min. on your check.
...when your husband notices you are talking with a Chinese accent and your not Chinese.
...when you design your answers in pre-hire "personality profiling" test in such a subliminal way that you are telling the reader to go fuck themselves. (It's an art)
... you can only deal stoned and when you're sober everyone's asks "what's wrong?"
... on your day off you leave for a party and instinctively pin your name badge to your suit.
....you remember when those cocktail waitresses looked HOT!
....you know your a burnt out floor when
the only dealers names you know are
lump, lumpasaurus, lumpy and clydsdale
...you start looking forward to a delicious meal in the EDR.
...you'd rather take the EO and go home and play internet poker
than to deal to the store bought boobs....no bra... on spot 4
...you want to kill the mother fucker who keeps asking questions
at the end of the mandatory meeting
....the "Whirl" vs. "World" debate always ends in violence.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you haven't used your "inside hand" in 10 years (except to hold yourself in an upright position)
...you end up in jail for beating the shit out of some new guy cause you called him a rookie and he replies back with, "I'm a better and more experienced dealer than you. I know Blackjack, Caribbean Stud, Let-It-Ride, Three Card Poker, War, Chuck-A-Luck, Sic-Bo, and the Big 6 wheel. What do you know? Blackjack and Craps? That's only 2 games and you've been dealing for 15 years, I've only been dealing 4 months, do the math, who's the rookie now bitch?
...you put your bartenders name to notify in case of an emergency
...your kid asks you what 3+6 is and you say
"Ill give you 10, drop me a dollar.".
...your dog sleeps on one of your uniforms
and the other two can be found in your glove box
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you call out checks play on a dead game
because it's funny to watch your floor person panic
...you are dealing to purple action and the most beautiful cocktail waitress in Las Vegas sweetly asks you to make change for a player on your game in the middle of a hand. You then proceed to break a purple chip down all the way to silver...hoping the bitch only gets a buck, because she never speaks to you any other time
.....the new guy tells you what a great dealer you are and your incredulous response is; “How the **** would you know?”
...you sign up for poker class hoping to deal to a higher class degenerate
...an early push gives you a better feeling than sex.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...you and your kid are playing monopoly and he rolls a 7.
You yell out "7 out" and implode his hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place,
dump the board, and declare yourself the winner.
...half of the joints in your resume have been imploded.
...you stop complaining about dealing Let It Ride once a month.
...the Asian player at your table says "Gimmie Monkey, Gimmie Monkey" for 5 hours straight and you finally reply back with "What monkey?!! there are no cards in this entire shoe that even come close to looking like a fucking monkey!!!!"
...during a fight with the wife, the only comeback you have is "No Bet"
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...while selling two bags of weed you weigh the first one up
and simply "size in" for the next bag...
...you know you're burned out working the floor and think to yourself about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now rather than watching these lumps
...the guy at the table is betting a $100.00 for you every hand
......and you still want him to lose.
...when you go to the bathroom on your break and don't wash your hands just to get even with the players
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BURNED OUT DEALER WHEN....
...when you get to work an hour early everyday to sign the E.O. list but when you get the early push out, you go ahead and take your last break so you don't get shorted that 20 min. on your check.
...when your husband notices you are talking with a Chinese accent and your not Chinese.
...when you design your answers in pre-hire "personality profiling" test in such a subliminal way that you are telling the reader to go fuck themselves. (It's an art)
... you can only deal stoned and when you're sober everyone's asks "what's wrong?"
... on your day off you leave for a party and instinctively pin your name badge to your suit.
....you remember when those cocktail waitresses looked HOT!
